Exceptional Dental Practice Management

Don't Make A Mess

I was just reading an article in a magazine about how a well known woman coped with her breast cancer diagnosis.  One suggestion was to make your mess your message.  

I've shared a lot with you all about my life in the dental practice I work in and my personal life, to some degree.  If you've been reading for a while, you know that my 30 year marriage is ending in divorce.  While I don't understand most of the reason why what I thought was a good marriage is ending; there is something that has nagged at me.  I guess it's my mess, and maybe making it my message will make it stop nagging so much.

My mess is that I'm getting divorced, but the thing nagging at me is the thought that I was really very focused on my job.  I had stayed home to raise children for 14 years. Going back into the dental office, and finding that I had a talent for managing a practice really made me feel good.  My kids were growing up and getting busy with their interests and didn't need my constant presence.  My husband traveled all week and came home on weekends so I was alone a lot.  Work filled the empty places and made me feel important.  I became kind of one-dimensional.  I loved my job and thought it was fascinating.  I thought everyone else would find it fascinating too, so I talked about it a lot.  I think I became kind of self-involved and maybe a little boring.  I lost my balance in life.

Now, don't get me wrong, that certainly didn't give my husband a reason to give up on our marriage, or on me.  But, looking back, I can see that I should have developed other interests and talked about myself less.  I still probably should do that.  What's done is done with my marriage, but what about you?  Do you focus on work too much?  Has it become obsessive for you?  Is your family sick of dentistry being the main topic in your life?  Then do something about it.  I can tell you, this is not fun.  It's lonely and painful and so full of regret.  I don't want that for you.  I don't know if I would have listened if someone had told me this a few years ago.  I wish someone had and I wish I would have listened.  Please, if you're like that, listen.  That is my message now that I have a mess.  Let your message be that you listened to mine and made things right.  Your work is important, but your family and personal life are most important.  

Sometimes We Forget

I saw this video today and I realized that sometimes I forget how lucky I am. When I see a video like this and I think about the very small things that I let bother me, I realize that I need to remember to put things in perspective more often. Sometimes we just need to be more aware of the path our thoughts and emotions are taking and stop for a moment to monitor ourselves. Look at the kids in this video, they are full of the hope to overcome their very serious problems. Look at the doctors and nurses and the love and joy they bring to their work. They are all proud of the way they are facing their challenges. They have learned what matters. Think about the things we get upset with over the course of a day. Our boss says something that we think may have been a little insulting and we pout or get quiet hoping he'll ask what's wrong so we can let him know we're offended. Or another staff member is kissing up and it just drives you a little crazy. One person isn't pulling her weight and look, that one is texting her boyfriend. Tragic? No, just annoying if you focus on it. In all honesty, whether we like it or not, it's part of the human condition. People do things they're not supposed to do, not everyone sees things as we do, speaks as we speak or works like we work. It's ok. Fix what you can and learn to accept the rest. If you find yourself getting annoyed, just hum "Stronger" to yourself and think of these kids. They'd love to have your problems instead of theirs. In memory of my brother Charles Otranto who fought his brave fight against cancer until December 5, 2011.

What Do Persia and Dentistry Have In Common, Anyway?

Ok, I admit it, I'm kind of obsessed with my boss, Nigel Morgan's, Dad Kevin Morgan's blog Fit Old Dog.  Did that sentence make sense?  I hope so.  I'm still blown away by how he turned a piece of tumbleweed into such an insightful post about motivations and character types.  Anyway, today I noticed that he wrote a blog about Persia.  He was wondering where it was anyway, because he stopped studying history at about 13 years old.  Well, so did I, and at the time I was pretty relieved because I thought it was boring.  Oh, how I wish I knew then what I know now.  I would have appreciated history class a lot more, and I might have even paid attention.

In his fascinatingly meandering way, Kevin comes around to realizing that if you don't understand the history of something, you really don't understand it at all.  As usual, my mind connected this thought to our dental practice.  The practice I work in has been around for about 28 years.  I came in about year 14 so that means I only know about half the history.  I you think about it, I know even less than that because the idea of this practice started in the first owner, Dr. Price's, mind years before it's doors ever opened.  I can only assume  what it was like to open a brand new practice in a small town in North Carolina.  I'm sure there were struggles and fears, triumphs and successes, proud moments and scary ones, as well.  

What I do know is that since I've been there there have been struggles, triumphs, proud and scary moments, and losses and growth.  So it seems like life in a practice is cyclical.  Just like life in general.  I've seen one dentist have to face the end of this part of his career and walk away from what he built, and another dentist come in and walk forward in a practice that would never lose it's history, and build the future.  What has happened here in the past has left a footprint, and it's one that is different than it would have been if Dr. Morgan had been here all along.  That's why he began by learning the history of it all.  Now, we make our own history for this part of the life of the practice.  

Understanding the history helps us to understand each other..a little bit.  If you think about it, we all bring a personal history with us from all the events and experiences of our lifetimes.  Is it any wonder why we are sometimes a mystery to each other, and even to ourselves?  We can never know or understand the complete history we all have with us.   We can waste a lot of time if we insist on understanding everything about everyone.  At some point, we have to tell ourselves that our boss's, our co-workers, our staff and our patients will always remain somewhat a mystery, but we can also know that their history brought them to us with all their lovable, enjoyable, delightful, frustrating, maddening, aggravating habits and characteristics.  We can embrace it all and accept and love them.  We can  realize that by doing that, we are writing the next part of the history of us as this part of our practice.  We can make it great right now, and someone will take our story forward with them.  

So, where is Persia, anyway?  If you know, click over to Kevin's blog and tell him.  He seems like the curious type.  Guess the apple didn't fall far from the tree.

You have to read this post on the fit old dog (my boss's father's blog). I'm still trying to decide if I"m a tumbleweed, bulldozer, or taoist. I think I'm probably a wanna be taoist with more than a few driver (but I don't think necessarily bulldozer) tendencies. I really want to be a taoist though. I think life is easier in many ways when you are. Here's the link:

http://athletewithstent.com/

Job, Career, Or Calling

I'm reading a book titled "Happier" right now.  Actually, I'm listening to it on a CD in my car.  (Yes, I like self-help stuff, are you really surprised about that? If you've been reading this blog for any length of time, I doubt you are.)  I've been going through a lot of challenging times in the last few years and I'll take all the help I can get.  The section I listened to on today's ride home from work was about work.  Specifically, do you have a job, pursue a career, or answer a calling?  They made it sound pretty cut and dried, and in some ways and most days, it probably is.  But, there are days when the most passionate calling can feel like a job, and those moments when a career seems like it could be so much more satisfying.

I have always felt that working in dentistry is my calling, for varied reasons.  I love the challenge of making a schedule work, calming a nervous patient, helping a new employee learn, or seeing a tooth that is broken down and just a mess, transformed into a healthy tooth again.  I also feel that it is an honor to be trusted to run someone's practice, a priveledge to help a fearful patient relax, and a joy to help develop a thriving practice and a happy, committed staff.

According to "Happier" (and I'm going from memory here so I won't be word perfect) a person with a job sees it as a way to make money and pay the bills.  A person who sees their work as a career likes what they do, but gets most of their satisfaction from advancement, in both salary and status.  A person who is called does what they do because they just love it.  They can do nothing less than their best, despite the outward rewards.  Their rewards come from internal satisfaction.

Some days it's easier to feel the satisfaction of the call than others.  Most days I love my calling and other days I struggle make myself leave the house to answer the call.  There are some aspects of "Happier" that I agree with and others that I struggle with.  I do believe that if you are called you enjoy the work for the sake of the work.  No matter what is happening, or how I feel, I always give the best I can.  I get lost in my work and can't keep myself away from it sometimes.  I get ideas all the time, and I don't watch the clock.  There are times though, when I appreciate external rewards.  I like to know that what I do is appreciated and valued.    I like to be thanked sometimes, or to hear "I don't know what I'd do without you."  That's the human aspect of the calling.

If you want staff that sees what they do as more than a job, remember to show some outward signs of appreciation.  Most often, money is appreciated, but not the biggest motivating factor.  Most people answering a calling just want to know that you see what they do and value it.  They will still do it regardless of your part in it, but it adds something.  Ask your staff which best describes the way they see their work.  (let them answer anonymously if you want the truth).  Ask them if they could see their attitude toward their work moving to the next level.  What would help them get there?  What would help you get there?  

Great Day At Colgate Connect Conference

 

CONNECT CONFERENCE

I was surprised recently with an invitation to the Colgate Connect Conference.  I was surprised, and immediately suspicious.  A nice young man named Carl Frederique had issued the invitation and I was pleased, but then thought, "Hey, what's this about?!  Why would Colgate fly me to New Jersey and reserve a hotel room for me?  This has to be some kind of kidnapping plot, or something.  Even his name sounded a little fishy to me.  Carl Frederique?  Is anyone really named Carl Frederique?"  Of course, I never went further than that to wonder why anyone would want to kidnap me in the first place.  I made my boss look at the invitation to see if he thought something was up.  He's used to me by now, so he just assured me that it didn't seem sinister.  That wasn't enough, I called my daughter and she made fun of me and told me to go and enjoy it.  But then again, she stands to inherit all my jewelry and stuff if anything happens to me, so maybe she's in on it.  Somehow, I got past all my imaginings and made the trip.  

When I got off the plane in New Jersey at 1am (and don't knock Jersey, I grew up there and loved it) I immediately headed for the Ladie's Room, so did everyone else.  Amid the flushing commodes and blowing hand dryers, my cell phone rings.  I figured it was my boss.  Dr. Morgan tends to call me when I'm in airport restrooms for some reason.  (If he reads this he'll be thinking that he's only done it once, but obviously it made a big impression on me, plus, I think it's funny.)  It was actually someone calling to tell me that a limo driver would be waiting for me at baggage claim.  Wow, they were tricky, they were still acting like it wasn't a plot.  I made my way to the area where I was to be snatched and there waited a very nice driver.  To my surprise, he dropped me off at the Hyatt.  No blindfold, no mouth gag, no handcuffs.  I started to relax.  I was given a very nice room and there was even a gift waiting for me, a really neat phone charger.  Hey, this wasn't a plot after all.  

In the morning, I went down to the lobby and found a superstar group assembled.  I was like a starstruck hayseed meeting all of these bloggers that I had interacted with over the years, but never met.  First, I spotted Teresa Duncan, from Odyssey Management who writes the Implant Blog.  She introduced me to Dr. Marty Jablow who writes a dental news and technology blog.  Then I saw Dr's Hales, Parente, and Carlson who write the Endo Blog.  Next, Dr. Larry Emmott who also writes a technology blog.  (You really can't have too many tech blogs, by the way, these two know their stuff.)  Last, but definitely not least there were two hygienists.  The fabulous Anastasia Turchetta and delightful Katie Hess.  I also finally met Carl Frederique himself, who really exists, that really is his name, no, he doesn't have a French accent, and he isn't sinister at all.  Besides, he was pretty skinny, so if he tried to kidnap me, I think I could overpower him.  That, and he'd have had to kidnap all those other people too, and I just don't see that happening.

When we arrived at the Colgate Technology Center we were greeted warmly and let to a beautiful conference center that proves that Jersey deserves to be the Garden State.  We spent about an hour talking and sharing ideas and then were given a tour of the Technology Center and now I know why Colgate deserves the esteem of the dental community.  They don't just make great toothpaste, they make so many high quality products that we use everyday; they really care about what they are making.  We were introduced to so many different technologists who are all enthusiastic about what they are doing, extremely knowledgeable, and were happy to share their knowledge with us.  (If you ever wonder why you can't find great, committed, enthusiastic employees, I know why; Colgate has them).  One after another, everyone was friendly, informative and best of all, happy in their work; every single one of them.  Dr. Virginia Barnes led our group and she could not have been nicer.  Erin Byrne and Dr. Foti Panagakos (a fellow Brooklyn native so he has to be a good guy) moderated the session and really amazed me with their knowledge of not only dentistry, but of social media.  After our tour, it was back to more roundtable discussions with this amazing group of social media experts (what I was doing there, I'll never know, but I obviously fooled someone into thinking I knew something so, lucky me!)  

The thing to realize is this: social media is an important, new way to reach out with your message. Colgate is trying to help the dental profession use this media to reach out to the general public, and to each other.   It may be that you make great oral health care products, it may be that you specialize in cosmetic dentistry, it may be that you can come to someone's practice as a consultant, it may be that you have ideas, systems, or knowledge that someone else can use.  Or, it may just be that you care.  That was the overwhelming feeling that I left New Jersey with; the people that I just spent the day with care.  The endo docs care about helping other dentists understand endo better, the hygienists want to help other hygienists, the tech guys want to keep us all up on what's new out there, Teresa can just help in so many different directions that you'll have to go to her blog and see what she has that you need, because I promise you, she has something for you, you just might not know you need it yet.  Finally, Colgate cares about what they make, how they make it, and the people who work for them.  They seem like family and that was not what I was expecting in a Tech Center.  

So, thank you Colgate for inviting me and treating me so well.  Thanks to all my fellow bloggers who attended this conference.  Please check out their blogs; I made it easy for you with all the links attached to their names above, so you have no excuse not to.  I had a wonderful time and enjoyed it immensely.  As an added bonus, I revived my Jersey accent for a day.  I got to say cawfee and awl again; can "You's guys" be far bahind.  Oh, who am I kidding?  I never stopped saying You's guys; but I have caught myself saying, You's guys and Y'all in the same sentence.  It gives me some originality, so I like it.

Crazy Week

...or, more accurately, a week of crazies.  Did you ever have a week where at least once a day you had to deal with a seriously "off the wall" patient?  Well this was that week, but you know what?  It was just fine.  

Now, I didn't always come through a week of cray cray's with a smile, but a funny thing happened on the way to being 54...I grew up.  Happily, there are some benefits to getting older, and I dare say one of them is wisdom, at least once in a while. Don't get me wrong, I still have plenty of foolish moments, but I find more often that I am able to find the path to serenity.

What I found out is this: you don't have to be crazy just because someone else is.  You can deal with someone who is rude, insulting, weird, strange, unpleasant or mean, with compassion.  A lot of the time, when faced with someone who is offensive, we automatically feel like we need to respond defensively.  If you do that, you are basically allowing them to make you into a mirror.  It is so much more satisfying to not only remain calm, but to stay happy.  Yesterday we had a patient that seemed to be compulsively insulting and snide.  After the first 5 minutes around her I found myself praying to be able to shake off the aggravation I was feeling.  Every word out of this woman's mouth was sarcastic and caustic.  Suddenly I realized that she thought she was funny.  She had no idea that she was so offensive.  I challenged myself to try to find some common ground with her.  I finally found that we had both spent time living in New Jersey.  that got us talking like normal people and by the time she left, we had had a few laughs and I had maintained my good mood.  

I can tell you, that's better than feeling totally annoyed and put upon.  It's the best for everyone if you can do it.  This is something that we rarely explore with our staff, but we should.  The knee-jerk reaction is to feel put upon and abused when faced with someone like the above, and the only thing that gets us through it is knowing that we will regale our co-workers with the details of all we've been through.  Instead, talk to them about how to not only cope, but how to find the dignity in finding something good in an annoying person.  Ask them to talk about their successes with this at staff meetings so they can encourage each other.  The benefits to the atmosphere in the office will be well worth it and crazy weeks won't make life miserable anymore.

Presenting Tooth Replacement Options To Patients

Whether a patient has been missing teeth for a long time, or is about to lose a tooth now, replacing missing teeth is usually a wise decision.  Patients are smarter consumers these days and that includes dentistry.  They want to know what their choices are, the pros and cons of those choices, and they want to make a good investment in something that will be comfortable and last a long time.  

Money aside, I usually think dental implants are the best choice to replace missing teeth.  I always believe that form follows function so be prepared to talk about the mechanics first.  To me, the most important point is that implants save bone.  Next, they feel more like natural teeth and you can care for them easily.  Often they can be temporized immediately in the esthetic zone and that is a big benefit.

The next best approach is often a fixed bridge.  The main reason patients like this option is because they don't like to take something out of their mouth. They will require a little more effort with home care, but patients seem to adapt to the new routine.

Finally there are the removable options.  Removable has become the sad stepsister to the other options, but there have been great strides in making removable prosthetics more comfortable and attractive.  Patients seem to love the flexible partials and precision appliances and implant supported dentures add much more stability than dentures in the past. 

I used to think of presenting replacement options as good, better, best; with removable as good, fixed bridges as better, and implants as best.  In most cases, I still feel that dental implants are best, but the other options have a lot to offer and should always be presented as an option.  Always make sure to find out what your patient wants and what they can afford and work with them to make the choice that's fits them the best.

Happy At Work

We all want to be happy.  It's what we all strive for in our lives.  We want to be happy in our work and we even expect our bosses and managers to try to figure out ways to make us happy.  As managers, we may spend a good amount of time thinking of ways to make our staff happy.  I know that I do, but I also realize that many times I go out of my way to do things, remember anniversaries and birthdays, find reasons to give praise, and while those things make people happy in the moment, if I stop doing it, it's barely noticed.  It's rarely even remembered over the long term.  

Does that mean I should stop doing any of it.  Maybe...or maybe I should keep doing some of it and stop some of it.  I should keep doing the things that I can give happily and generously, just because it feels good and right, and stop doing the things that I expect something in return for, especially if I'll resent it if I don't get the gratitude I want, because then I'm giving someone else the control of my happiness.  

Another thought when it comes to happiness at work is wonderfully expressed in this TED talk by Shawn Achor.  It's 12 minutes, but it's 12 fast-moving, humorous, minutes with a message you can bring to the culture of your practice.  The message?  Happiness is the secret to better work.  Help people figure out how to be happy and watch the quality of their work, and their attitude soar.  Give praise, compliment, bring a positive solution to every problem.  Forget the off with their heads attitude whenever there's a problem, and start out remembering that you can work together toward positive solutions.  There will always be problems in any group, but develop a culture of happiness, trust that happiness is the goal in every interaction, and problems become opportunities to show that you are committed to the goal of a culture of happiness.  

How To See The Other

I drove to Charleston last weekend to meet my daughter and her husband, and my granddaughter.  Kim and Adam were running the Cooper River Bridge 10K and did very well.  I got to spend the morning with the wonderful Sophia!  

I had a 4 hour drive and decided to listen to a CD by Deepak Chopra.  I'm always trying to learn how to be a better person and I loved the CD I listened to because he reaches across all belief systems and makes very simple, yet profound points.  I'm also always trying to find ways to keep enhancing our team and this CD had many ideas that could apply to them.

One section dealt with seeing others with kindness.  As I listened, I realized that this method would work wonderfully in our offices with our co-workers and patients.  I'm adapting a little for this setting, but it goes like this:  When you think of the other person, tell yourself that they have experienced happiness in their lives, just like you.  They have experienced sadness and grief, just like you.  They have people who love them, just like you do.  They will grow old some day, just like you will.  Some day they will die, just like you will.  They are just like you.  Try it, it shifts your thoughts about the other person and connects you to them in a caring, kind way.  We all have people who drive us nuts, but next time, rather than fuming, try this instead and see if you don't feel better.  

Next time I'll tell you about a conflict resolution idea I picked up from the same CD.

The Energized Practice - Idea #10

Never stop learning.

So many times we get to a place in our practices where we decide we're satisfied.  We're done.  We've worked hard and we have it just the way we want it, so now we can take it easy.  Not so fast.  If you want energy in your practice, and if you're still reading this series, I can safely assume you do, you have to keep adding hits of excitement.  It doesn't have to be monumental, just a little something new.

I remember working with a dentist who'd been in practice 25 years.  He was sick of the same old thing.  He asked me what I thought about him learning to place implants.  I was all for it because I knew he needed a new interest if he was going to be happy.  It was fun to see him get energized by this new procedure he was learning.  He had something to look forward to and to learn about.  It made the last few years he practiced satisfying for him.

There are so many opportunities to learn.  Of course there's always CE, but we can learn everyday if we just pay attention.  I remember an elderly woman who was brought in from the nursing home every 6 months, or whenever she needed treatment.  She showed me her fingernails which were chipped and uneven and told me that she had always kept them so nice all her life.  The next time she came in I had a surprise waiting  for her.  Before we started her treatment I treated her to a mini manicure. After her anesthetic was given, I evened up her nails with an emory  board and polished them with a pretty pink polish.  She was thrilled.  At one point I looked up from what I was doing and saw my boss watching from the doorway and I could see he was learning something about caring for this woman.  First I learned about what she missed and wished for so I could give her something she thought she'd lost forever.  Then I realized that doing that gave me as much as it did her.  Finally I realized that it was already rippling out into others in the office.  And it only took 5 minutes.  

Look around, be aware, and keep learning.  Read and share what you learn.  Find new things that excite you and bring them into your practice and energize everyone.  

Now that we've reached the end of this series I hope you realize that an energized practice is a happy practice.  A happy practice sends out a good vibe that people want.  So, in the end, an energized practice can't help but be a successful practice.  Happy, energized and successful, isn't that what you want to be?

The Energized Practice - Idea #9

Bring what you've learned with you.

All our experiences make us who we are.  We've all had other jobs; and we've all had good and bad experiences in those jobs.  We've learned what works and what doesn't work.  Keep applying that.  Encourage your staff to be open to the ideas and experiences that new staff bring with them.  So many times staff can feel threatened by what a new employee suggests.  That's because people usually don't like change and they've already dealt with this new staff member coming in and the old staff member leaving.  Their environment has changed and now it's going to change some more?  

We talk a lot about the importance of developing a culture in our practices, and maybe that's part of what causes this problem with change.  We forget to teach people that culture must flow.  We can think of it like a moving river in which we are in the midst.  We can flow with the river and see where it takes us, or we can exhaust ourselves by constantly fighting the flow and trying to remain standing in one place, despite the pressure of the current.  If we try to remain the same in the river, we will become frustrated and exhausted, and it won't work, anyway.  It also would take our focus off something healthy and natural and focus it on something unhealthy and futile.  So part of developing a culture is understanding that it must flow and change in order to remain healthy and vital.

Use everything you've ever learned to make your practice stand out.  New ideas are energizing, they wake us up.  Take the threat out of change by trying to understand what makes it feel bad to anyone.  If a staff member is resisting a change, our first inclination is to be irritated with them.  Push that aside and try to learn more about what is causing that feeling in your staff member.  It's usually fear of what will happen now.  How will this change affect them?  Will they lose something because of it?  Help them learn that experience shared is experience squared.  When we give of ourselves to enrich someone else, we grow, too.  Make sure that you live up to that pledge to your staff member so that as time goes on they will remember and use this lesson that you've taught them.  Then both of you have learned something worth bringing along.

The Energized Practice - Idea #8

Tell everyone about who you are, whenever and wherever you can.

Does your staff leave work?  Once they're out the door do they slam the door of their mind on the practice?  If so, you haven't inspired them enough.  When staff is fully engaged and energized about the practice they're a part of, they unconsciously are always aware of opportunities to talk up the practice.  Their place in the practice becomes part of who they are; wife, mother, daughter, friend, dental assistant at Dr. Morgan's office.

I was sitting in a casual restaurant in town, having dinner with a friend.  The table I was sitting at had a bench that ran the whole length of the wall.  The woman next to me said something to me, and a conversation began.  She mentioned that she and her husband had just moved to town.  I told her that I worked for a wonderful dentist and pulled a lip balm with our practice name and phone number imprinted on it and gave it to her and encouraged her to call and give my name as a referral.  Now she had a friend who was referring her.  Me.  She has since become a patient and has referred others.  

Your staff should feel so good about you, and about their part in the practice that it becomes a part of who they are.  When they talk about working for you, their pride and pleasure should be obvious.  It takes a small investment is kindness and thoughtfulness from you and results in huge benefits.  It's so rare to hear anyone gush about how much they love their job anymore, so people take notice when someone does.  Invest in your staff and get them talking.

The Energized Practice - Idea #7

Live up to the expectations you set up.  In other words, do what you made them believe you will do, always.

Whatever you repeatedly do becomes your brand.  Your brand evokes feelings, emotions and expectations in your patients.  When our patients think of us, I can't help but believe they think of a warm, happy greeting when they arrive, caring clinical staff, and a dentist who is kind, caring, and fun.  I know that when they hear they need extensive treatment, they also remember that we will work with them to help them proceed in a way that works within their budget, even if it means extending a payment plan to them.  I do know that new patients entering the practice recite a litany of all the wonderful their friend who referred them told them about us.  So, right there, you see that our brand has been established, even before an actual encounter.  Now that new patient has expectations of us based on our brand.

Think of any big company that's been around a long time, maybe even since you were a child.  Let's think about Coca-Cola.  It probably doesn't take much prodding on my part to get you to start singing, "I'd like to buy the world a Coke..." in your head, does it?  It may even be stuck in there all day now... sorry.  Coke has made their mistakes, what with changing the formula, or whatever they did a few years back, but we forgive them because overall, they've given us what we expect.  Think about Disney.  You may even envision Dumbo flying around as you hum the Disney tune.  What parent doesn't want their child to experience the magic of Disney?

Magic.  That's what I'm talking about.  What is the magic in your practice?  I know what it is in ours, and I know patients expect it.  Always remember though, there is a difference between companies that have a commody to sell and practices that provide dental care.  While a consumer will forgive a company for messing with the taste of their soda, as long as they still have the familiar taste available, patients won't tolerate much disappointment on the part of the people who provide their dental care.  That's because it's much more physical, as well as psychological.  We must not only show that we care for them, they must know, without a doubt, that we care about them.  That's the expectation that must be met, every time.

The Energized Practice - Idea #6

Be Unique

What could be more boring than a dental practice?  You can almost feel your mood going down as you open the door to the smell of eugenol.  It doesn't get any better when you walk up to the front desk and the person there is obviously wishing you'd never walked through the door since she won't get off the phone with her mother to acknowledge your presence with even a dismissive wave of her hand.  You've been there, you know it happens, and you know how it makes you feel.

Be Unique.  It's so easy when that's what you're up against.  Let your patients open the door to the pleasant surprise of fresh flowers and delightful scented potpourri.  Let them be warmly greeted by a smiling, personable person who is actually happy to see them.  Have a supply of interesting, up-to-date magazines and newspapers available to them and a well-stocked assortment of refreshments to choose from.  It's a big deal to them and it takes the edge off their anxiety.  Then, when you get them into the operatory, wow them with your attention to detail, caring concern and gentle treatment.  

Dentists, learn how to give a gentle injection.  I really think it's a major stumbling block to get over.  If patients don't fear your injection, everything goes a lot better and they are relieved every time.  They will brag about you to their friends whenever they tell them that they just hate the needle.  I've watched people give horrendous injections, and been the victim of too many myself and I'm telling you, it's traumatic.  I've also watched and benefitted from practically painless injections and again I'm telling you, there's no relief like it.  Even as the assistant, watching someone consistently give painful injections is difficult.  You just wish they'd learn how to do it better.  Watching someone give a gentle injection makes you realize that they really care about making it painless.  That makes them unique in that way.

Base your next staff meeting on becoming unique.  Ask your staff to come to the meeting with innovative ideas.  Reward the person with the most innovative idea with a small gift certificate for a restaurant or manicure.  Give everyone who comes with any idea a really nice (like Godiva nice) chocolate bar.  Make it fun and everyone will be rewarded by the reactions of the patients, because I promise you, they'll notice.

The Energized Practice - Idea #5

Just Keep Going

Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan "press on" has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.     ~Calvin Coolidge~

 

If you ask me, the people who have continued to do well, or even do better, in this down economy, are the people who just kept going.  Yes, they may have slowed down a minute, but they didn't use that minute to moan about how tough things were.  They used that minute to talk about how tough they'd be to get through it.  They stop every now and then to access how things are working, to tweak their systems and to talk about how to implement new ideas, but they never fell back on their beds with an arm over their eyes saying, "It's no use, no one can survive this."  They just keep going.  They keep watching for new ways to thrive.  

Now, I know that someone is reading this and thinking, "She has no idea of what I'm dealing with."  You may be right, but I also know that the day you decide to stop trying, is the day you take away your opportunity to persist.  So just for today, dig a little deeper.  Is there one thing you can do to make it another day?  Another week?  Is there someone who can help?  Get your staff involved, ask your community of dentists to help.  (Speaking of which, if you are a dentist and know that another dentist in your association is struggling badly, do something to help.  Encourage others to refer a new patient to them.  Brainstorm with them.  Do you have any idea of the difference you could make?)  If you squint your eyes hard enough, you may just get a glint of light.  That's the end of the tunnel and you can get to it if you can just press on.

 

The Energized Practice - Idea #4

Develop a Passion for Problems

Sounds a little strange, doesn't it?  That's ok, a little strangeness won't kill you.  But it makes you think, doesn't it?  And that's the point.  If everything is always easy, you don't have to think, and you begin doing things by rote.  And that's when things get boring, you get boring, your staff gets boring and your patients get bored.  When patients get bored, and their friends tell them something interesting about the new dental practice they've found, your patients go away and then they're not bored anymore, but they're also not your patients anymore either.  Now you're not so bored anymore, you're panicked!  That's a problem you didn't need to have if only you'd kept things interesting.

Which brings me to the point; develop a passion for problems.  Maybe I should say, problem-solving.  Problems can make you think outside the box.  If you remember that problems can be opportunities to create something better, you can consciously decide that you will try to not only solve problems, but to develop interesting solutions to problems so that you end up with something better than whatever you had before the problem arose.  

Get your staff on board whenever possible to help solve problems.  Nothing brings a team together, or builds morale more solidly, than coming together in response to a problem.  Before you know it, not only will people automatically team to respond to whatever pops up, they will begin to look for ways to improve what is, before it becomes what's bad.  I don't know about you, but even thinking about that kind of team dynamic just energizes me.

Keep coming back for more.

The Energized Practice - Idea #3

Paint a Picture of Your Practice

What will your practice look like when it's what you want it to be?  Some call it having a vision, having a focus, or creating a culture.  It's all that and more.  It's having the scene in your head and painting it so that your team can have it in their head, too.

Think about the last scene in the movie The Sound of Music.  The Von Trapp family is on top of the mountain, happy and singing.  Now if someone just told you that it may seem nice, but not so amazing.  If you've seen the movie, you know that the scene was majestic, the family was ecstatic and the feeling you got from it was triumphant.  That's the kind of picture you want to draw in the minds of your staff.  You might even consider making up a kind of dream board.  You can cut out pictures from magazines that depict the the practice you envision and invite the staff to add their own pictures, as well.  You can use dental periodicals as well as any other magazines.  

My poster would show a nice, serene setting with calm, neutral colors and comfortable furniture with clean lines and happy, relaxed looking people who are relating to each other and working well together. Maybe you've been trying to tell your staff how you want them to dress for work.  Cut out pictures from a uniform catalog that show the type of uniform you find appropriate, hairstyles that you'd like to see, etc.  Think of anything that you've had a hard time expressing in words and try to find pictures that get the thought across.  It may sound corny, but it helps you find out what's important to yourself and your team and gives you something to aim for.

Still more coming.

The Energized Practice - Idea #2

Find Out What Everybody Does Best

There may be no I in team, but there is an I in individual and teams are made up of individuals with individual skills and gifts.  When those individuals come together to apply their gifts to a common goal, that's a great team.  If everyone was equally gifted in exactly the same way, you'd have a group of people who could do one thing extremely well, but it might not mean success.  

Find out what makes everyone tick, what makes their heart beat a little faster, and what puts them in the zone where a few hours seems like a few minutes.  That's when you find out what their gifts are and where their unique talents lie.  

If one person is a great communicator, let her present treatment plans.  If another is skilled with numbers, let her be the person that the treatment presenter hands the patient off to for a financial plan.  Another person has a great phone voice and a warm, welcoming manner?  She should be the first person patients encounter when they call, or arrive at your office.  

 

Discover, acknowledge, respect and celebrate individuals for their special gifts and you'll be amazed at the results.  Not only will your patients benefit, you're staff will be happy and fulfilled and your practice will be energized with the passion that produces.

More on the way.

The Energized Practice

How do you get you employees to become passionate about your practice; thereby energizing your practice with their passion?  You have to lead them to it, that's how.  Let's start with this today:

Education - you probably think I'm going to tell you that your staff needs to be looking for every available opportunity to educate their patients.  They do, but this time I'm reversing it.  Your staff also needs to be listening and learning from your patients, because whether you realize it or not, they're telling you what they want from you.  It may be in the form of a complaint, it may sound like whining, but it's usually valid and it may give you the edge that makes you different from all the other dentists in town.  

Patients want the most from every dollar they allocate toward dentistry in this economy.  They want the cheapest solution that will last the longest, and sometimes that works.  If it doesn't, they want you to tell them why it doesn't, and how what you're suggesting is going to be worth the money they'll have to pay.  Listen to hear what is important to them, so that you can then appeal to their own values, not yours.  If your patient tells you how excited they are about their upcoming trip to Europe, but they want you to just do an amalgam that covers 3/4 of their molar rather than the crown you know they need, don't judge.  

Oh, come on, you know how the thought process goes.  "Sure, he's going to Tuscany for two weeks, but he won't pay to have his tooth fixed properly and expects me to spend my time carving a tooth out of amalgam for him.  Then when it breaks on his vacation, I'll hear what a crappy job I did when he gets back.  And you know he'll expect me to deduct the fee for the amalgam from the fee for the crown when I finally get to do it."

Ok, now that we've got that out of our system, let's try thinking from the patient's point of view.  "Oh great timing, I'm about to leave for the vacation I've saved for years to go on, and now I need this expensive treatment.  I just want the cheapest fix so I can have more money to enjoy on my trip.  Why can't he just patch me up and let me go?  If I get the crown I'll have to cut back on something in Italy and I really don't want to.  I'd almost rather just have the tooth pulled."

 And that's the way it really is.  So listen and learn about what your      patient is hoping for and why he's thinking the way he is.  Once you've         let him educate you about him, then you know something worthwhile.        Now you can set out to be his hero.  Come on, you're in this together,        you want him to enjoy Italy, and you don't want him to have to deal        with tooth problems in a foreign country.  Explain why the amalgam is        a risky choice this time.  Understand that he doesn't want to put out his        vacation spending money on a crown, because in his mind, that's        exactly what you're asking him to do.  Come up with a payment plan         \that works for both of you and do the crown that he really needs.        That's a win-win that he'll talk about.  In the meanwhile, your staff was        listening and learning from you about how to learn from your patient        and give them what they want.  Now, I know I'm a geek, but try it, it's        an exciting feeling for you and them.

        More coming next time.

Decision Making - Impulse #5

Impulse #5

    The impulse to do the mere minimum - that's all that's expected

This is a pet peeve of mine so here goes: A staff member is unpacking the weekly supply delivery and putting the items away.  She comes across an item and doesn't know where it is kept.  She opens a cabinet, sees there is an open spot about as big as the item she's trying to get rid of and thinks, "Good enough!" and tosses it in and shuts the door.  The next day the assistant is looking for an item that she knows she ordered, but it's not where it should be on the shelf.  She remembers seeing her co-worker unpacking the order and asks her about it.  Since she gave so little thought to where the item should go, she doesn't even remember unpacking the item.  She just shrugs, after all it's not her worry.  The assistant tells the dentist she can't find it and he reprimands her for running out of something they need.   The assistant was sure she'd ordered it, but accepts the blame and apologizes.  Even if her co-worker remembered putting the item in the wrong place, she'd still have felt "Hey, I put it away, what more do they want?  At least I helped."

    The 3 Second Difference

It's so simple, if you don't know where something goes, wait and ask someone who does.  Don't just shove it somewhere and hope for the best.  If the staff member had just paused long enough to realize that her action would sabotage her co-worker, she probably would not have done what she did.  Getting the item out of her hands in the moment, caused a big problem for an innocent person. If she had just waited and asked where to put it, the assistant would have shown her and she'd have done that simple thing right and avoided chaos.  

 

Decision Making - Impulse #4

Impulse #4

    The impulse to shirk responsibility - it's easier to shift the blame

    Real Life Example

A receptionist inadvertantly schedules two patients for crowns preps in the same 2 hour appointment slot because she forgot to enter the first patients appointment when she made it.  When both patients arrive she makes excuses and tells them that one of them must have gotten the wrong date.  When both show her appointment cards with the same date and time, she says that someone else must have deleted the first appointment.  Now both patients feel that she doesn't know what she is doing and wonder what else is wrong around here.  When the dentist asks her what happened, she says someone else must have made one of the appointments.  When it happens over and over again, her excuses become ludicrous and the dentist is fed up.  

        The 3 Second Difference

The receptionist can admit she made a mistake and apologize to the patients.  She asks if one of them could possibly reschedule and lets them know how much she appreciates their understanding.  Later that day she drops them a card restating her appreciation.  When the dentist questions her about the situation she accepts responsibility and lets her know that she'll be more careful in the future.  The dentist sees that she is sincere and understands that everyone makes a mistake now and then.  What could have turned into a drama of accusations and recriminations is handled with honesty and the day moves on.

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Decision Making - Impulse #3

Impulse #3

    The impulse to settle for the status quo - we lack vision

    Real Life Example

An assitant works in a nice practice with a dentist with whom she likes working.  After a few years, he ass her if she'd consider managing the office.  She immediately says no.  She likes assisting and doesn't know if she'd enjoy an administrative position.  A few months later the dentist hires an office manager.  The assistant hates having someone new come into the office and tell her what to do.  Her attitude changes and soon she and her boss are at odds with each other.  She quits, but she and her new boss don't have the great working relationship she had with her old boss.  She'd give anything to have that opportunity to manage the practice back again.

    The 3 Second Difference

The assistant could have asked her boss why he felt she would be a good candidate to manage his practice.  He certainly would have expressed faith in her ability to help him achieve his vision for the practice.  She could have imagined herself working with him to achieve that and seen herself in her role as a leader and imagined how satisfying that might be.  She could also realize that he was honoring her by entrusting her with that responsibility.  If she was worried about missing assisting, she could have asked if there was a way for her to spend some of her day continuing to assist.  She may have found him very willing to allow her to make the job what she wanted it to be.  Their already good working relationship would become even better and she would enjoy the feeling of achievement.

Decision Making - Impulse #2

Impulse #2 is:

    The impulse to shun a challenge - it seems hard or scary

    Real Life Example

A dentist presents a plan to incorporate a new soft tissue management program to his hygienists.  They have always referred all patients with pockets over 5mm to the periodontist, but the dentist feels that his hygienists do a great job and can provide scaling and root planing services and the placement of medications themselves for patients with mild to moderate periodontal disease.  This would provide more comprehensive service to the patients, and would also increase production for the practice.  

    Impulsive Reaction 

The hygienists have never done much scaling and root planing and think it will be too hard.  They worry about how patients will react when they are told they need more extensive and expensive treatment.  They let the dentist know they don't feel comfortable about it and that they don't think it's a good idea.  After all, the patients may get annoyed at them and they have such a good relationship with their patients.  They don't want to rock the boat.  The dentist just sighs and wishes that they were more open to trying new things.

    The 3 Second Difference

The hygienists would still feel their initial concern, but they would think about how they could address those worries.  They realize that they can educate their patients about the causes of their condition and the benefits of treatment and the consequences of doing nothing.  They can ask their boss if they can try to find a good course to attend or video that will help them learn more about a soft tissue management program.  They can see this as an interesting new facet of their job and enjoy being part of a comprehensive dental team.

Decision Making - Impulse #1

In his book, "3 Seconds - The Power of Thinking Twice", Les Parrott, PhD says, "Three seconds separate those who "give it their all" from those who "don't give it a thought" - literally."  In those three seconds we make the decision to go with a common, thoughtless impulse, or to challenge that instinct and think about how excel instead of just get by.  

This is a subject I could discuss with anyone all day long.  So many people are ok with just good enough and I wondered why.  What makes the difference between that person and someone who loves, and is driven to, pursuing excellence?  I think it's a little bit personality and mainly what they've experienced. If all along, everyone was satisfied with good enough, and they've never felt the push to excel and the feeling of accomplishment that comes with doing something to a higher level, how would they feel compelled to even think about it?  Well, if you're reading this I'm charging you with bringing it to the people you work with and showing them a new way of thinking.  This would make a good role-playing idea for a staff meeting (hint, hint).  I've taken Dr. Parrott's list of "Six impulses that never pay off" and adapted them to a dental office.  I'm going to give you one a day to keep the posts at a reasonable length. Here we go with the first one:

1. The impulse to give up before trying - we don't trust our abilities

        Real life example - A patient who has recently cancelled her crown appointment calls and says that she was just fired and will lose her insurance at the end of the month.  It's a Friday and the end of the month is next Thursday.  The staff member says, "I'm sorry to hear that, but we don't have any openings right now, and you missed your appointment the other day."  The patient apologizes and asks if there is any way she could be seen.  Here's where the impact of 3 seconds comes in: The staff member may just say she'll have to call if she gets a cancellation.  The patient, who is already upset about being fired, now feels even worse.

    Or, she can pause for 3 seconds and think, "How can I make her feel that I care?"  The ideas would have flowed from that thought and it might have sounded something like this.  "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that you lost your job, let's see what we can do."  Now she's in it with her and the patient feels like someone is on her side and wants to help.  "I don't have an opening in the schedule right now, but I'm going to do my best to make one somehow.  First, I'll put you on our ASAP list.  I'll also look through the schedule to see if I can find someone who would be willing to move to another day considering your circumstance.  If all else fails, I'll brainstorm with Dr. Smith and the staff to see what solution we can come up with."  (Never suggest that you'll see the patient after hours without talking to the dentist first, if he can't or doesn't want to do it, you've just made him the bad guy.) 

This situation happened in our practice this past Friday and I was the one who answered the phone.  I actually gave the first knee-jerk response because this is a patient who cancels frequently.  Thankfully, I immediately gave it 3 seconds of thought and realized that this patient is a human being who is facing a scary situation and doesn't need to be made to feel guilty or inadequate on top of everything else.  As soon as I thought that, I heard my tone of voice change as I answered her; it softened and lost it's business edge (which I hadn't even realized I had adopted) and became the voice of a friend who wanted to help.  I could hear the relief in her voice immediately.  Remember, we are not here to judge, and that's what I had begun to do.  I remember thinking she would probably not show up, because that's her pattern and had our receptionist call her a few hours before her appointment and sure enough, she'd forgetten and couldn't come in because of work.  Well, now I know she may have been desperately worried about losing her job. At the time I just thought it was typical of her.  You never know what you don't know, so don't judge.  (Just a side thought, I wanted to share).

Somehow or other, we'll get her in so she can use her insurance.   After I hung up the phone I remembered that her entire extended family are patients in our practice.  When she missed her appointment the other day, we quickly called her brother, who also needed a crown and moved him into her appointment.  So her cancellation gave us an opportunity to flex our problem-solving muscles, but it didn't disadvantage the practice.  By helping her out, we will also reinforce to her entire family that we are a practice that cares about our patients and will do whatever we can to help them.  Win-win?  Sure it is, and the best part is, if you have a staff member who is not too sure of her decision making ability, teaching her to think, "How can I help?" may be the 3 seconds that turn her into someone who develops the tenacity to find solutions to problems.

Tommorow's impulse - The impulse to shun a challenge

 

Decision Making - Impulse #6

Ta Da - Impulse #6

    The impulse to avoid taking action - we fear failure

    Real Life Example

A young dentist is looking to buy a practice and finds one that seems great.  The dentist who owns the practice is retiring, but he has a great staff that includes an office manager.  The practice production has steadily increased over the last few years and is at a healthy level.  It seems like a dream practice and the young dentist is interested, but he starts to worry.  What if he can't keep up the level of production?  What if the staff doesn't work for him life they do for the current owner?  What if the office manager leaves?  What if the entire staff leaves?  What if the patients don't like him?  He makes himself so anxious that he passes on buying the practice.  A few weeks later, another young dentist who was in his graduating class buys the practice.  When he speaks to him a few weeks later, the buying dentist raves about how happy he is with his decision.  The one who passed up the opportunity is kicking himself.  In the meantime he has bought a different practice and things aren't going so great for him there.  He regrets his decision to pass on the first practice.

    The 3 Second Difference

What did the second dentist do that made the difference in his decision to buy the practice?  He decided to talk to the office manager and see if he felt that they would be a good match.  Once he did, he knew that they'd work great together and she made him feel excited about meeting the rest of the team.  They all talked about his vision for the practice and how they could all work together to achieve it.  The first dentist felt scared and ran with that feeling.  The second dentist felt some trepidation and decided to see if talking to someone else could ease his fears.  He thought past his initial fearful feelings and made a good decision based on facts, not fear.

 

Watch It!

"Watch your thoughts, they become words.
Watch your words, they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become your character.
Watch your character, it becomes your destiny."   ~Unknown~

Sometimes we're careless; and we tell ourselves it's no big deal.  It is a big deal.  It's a big deal that affects you as we as others.

Watch your thoughts.  How often do we notice that persistent voice that plays in our head throughout the day.  It may go something like this: "Why is she doing that?  That's really annoying.  She always does things like that.  She drives me crazy...."  And it goes on and on all day in there.  The fact is we can't stop the first thought from entering our mind, but we can direct the path that the next thought will take us on.  We can assume the best, hope for the best, and expect the best.  Which leads us to:

Watch your words.  Words can become weapons, they can fly out of our mouths and sting and cause damage for days and weeks to come.  They can cause irreparable harm.  The real danger is that once untamed thoughts are verbalized, we can begin to believe and become dedicated to them.  Which leads to:

Our actions.  Watch your actions.  Your actions become the next layer of building the story of who you are, so make them good.  What seems like a good idea in one moment, can be a disaster when acted upon.  Actions, be they good or bad, become:

Your character.  Your character is who you are.  Really.  It's not who you think you are, or who you'd like others to think you are.  It's the reality of you and it leads you to:

Your destiny.  You built it and it began with your thoughts, which lead you to speak the words you spoke, good or bad.  Remember you had the choice.  You led yourself down the path to happiness or the road to hell.  You make yourself who you are.  And that's the best news there is.  You make yourself who you are.  Every minute.  You still have a chance to make yourself who you wish you were.  

The Four Destroyers of Communication

"Feelings of worth can flourish only in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open, and rules are flexible - the kind of atmosphere that is found in a nurturing family."               ~Virginia Satir~

Communication can be the make it or break it point in a relationship, whether personal, or professional.  It can determine whether an acquaintanceship progress to friendship, whether a business relationship becomes a partnership, and it can enhance or destroy any of them.  

The problem is, we don't always see what we are doing, how we are affecting the other person, what their take is on us, or even that we might be wrong.  Sometimes, the other person has to knock us over the head, or dump us on our head to make us look at what we're doing.  If there ever was an Aha! moment, that's one.  The moment we realize that we've jeopardized a friendship, a job, a relationship...maybe something that means the world to us and we've just wiped it away.  Because we had to be right; we were so sure we were right.

Words can be great and I love the way you can put them together and make an ordinary statement have more power, excitement, and meaning.  Unfortunately, used the wrong way, words also have the power to make a negative, critical statement more stinging and wounding.  One thing to remember is this: a nice positive statement is nice at the moment, but starts dissipating as time goes on and must be reinforced with consistent kindness and nurturing.  A negative, hurtful statement sticks and keeps on giving.  One positive statement does not wipe out the impact of a negative one, sorry, it doesn't work that way.  People can accept praise and kindness as their due because we all want to be treated that way.  But, you're foolish to think you can wound with words and get the same dissipation of the effect.  We flinch from hurtful statements and once hurt, we examine them, roll them around in our minds and protect ourselves from more injury by attacking back, or becoming defensive.  The experience subtracts from any good will that has been built up in an increased proportion and makes it harder for trust to be rebuilt.  

I want to help you avoid the pain and anguish that accompanies the 4 following communications destroyers.  If you don't listen, you can't complain, because I'm telling you, as usual, from personal experience.  

1. Criticism - to find fault with; point out the fault of.                                 What's not to love about that?!  It's so easy to fall into the habit of criticizing.  We tell ourselves that we're trying to help.  We can see what's wrong and we just want to fix it.  Really?  Are you sure?  Maybe you just want to be smarter.  Maybe you have to make the other guy wrong so you can be right, and therefore better.  I don't think anyone actually thinks that, but we don't consider that it may be the effect on the other person.  Whenever we start a sentence with words like, "You don't...You never...I want...I feel"; we may be getting ready to unleash some nastiness.  Better think about how it's going to sound to the other guy, and how it will make him respond.  You can turn an angel into a devil by making her feel that you don't think she's good enough, smart enough, or capable enough.  And pretty soon, she's going to turn around and stick the pitchfork you forced upon her right between your ribs.  So cool it with the criticizm.  When you think something needs to be different, address the problem, not the person.  And cool down first, temper leads nowhere good.  If the problem is serious, it will still be there, and you'll be more rational about it if you wait and take the emotion out of it.  The fiery Italian side of me gets me in trouble every time.  That's right, I'm blaming the Italians.  Only kidding, I take full responsibility for my actions, regardless of my heritage.
2. Defensiveness - devoted to preventing or resisting aggression or attack; or the attempt to keep an opponent from scoring in a game or contest.                                                                                      Sometimes defensiveness is a result of getting kicked too many times, as in the case of dealing with a criticizer.  Sometimes it's just a way of not hearing what we don't want to hear.  If we react strongly enough, the other person will give up and we don't have to worry about losing a point, but often it is a mechanism to prevent injury.  When we see someone being defensive in response to us, we should first look at ourselves.  How are we talking the that person?  Are we neutral in stance, expression and word?  If not neutral, are we non-threatening?  Sometimes, even excitement about an idea can be threatening to someone who doesn't necessarily share our excitement.  Better to approach things evenly, and let excitement build together.  
3. Contempt - the act of despising; a lack of respect or reverance               Oh boy, if you find yourself here, you've got some real repair work to do.  Contempt doesn't happen overnight, it comes from repeated injury and insult.  It's painful to be on the receiving end, but consider what it would be like to be at the point where you feel that way.  You've probably gone through a lot, and now you're sick of it.  Contempt keeps more hurtful experiences away because it keeps the person causing the pain away.  If you've caused someone to hold you in contempt the only way to fix it is to prove that you see what caused the problem and that you won't do it again.  Once the contempt starts to heal, you can work together on building a new way of interacting.    
4. Stonewalling - to refuse to comply or cooperate with.                             Have you pushed it this far?  I'll bet you wish you could just have whatever it is you said, or did back again, because you would never have said or did it if you knew this would happen!  The problem is, it wasn't that last stupid thing you said or did, it was everything that built up to the breaking point.  We think we have all the time in the world to change, to get in a better mood, or to figure out better communication skills, but we don't.  And we never know exactly where the tipping point will be.  Again, tincture of time and changing your behavior is the only way to break down the walls you helped build.  Wait, be considerate, and do your work in peace.  Consistency will hopefully help the walls come down.  

So, if you've already messed up, you'll probably have to suffer while you wait for healing.  If you are on your way to a mess, stop it already!  You'll end up sorry and you'll hurt someone.  Our experience of life is a result of the choices we make about the things we can control.  We must pay attention to our words and actions because it's really all about relationships.  You can have all the money, possessions or vacations you want, but if your relationships are not right, you won't be happy.

 

Deconstructing Dental Practice Management - Lesson 1

Is it me, or has managing staff gotten more difficult?  I'm not talking about seasoned staff that have been with the practice for a long time, but new staff.  To me it seems that a new staff member should come to work, ready to be taught what they need to know.  In recent years, new staff seem to feel that the practice should come to a halt while the manager tries to figure out how they learn and then adapt her style of teaching to each new individual staff member.  In these days where you'd think people would be glad to get a job, I find more and more people willing to flip you the bird over any small struggle and go back to being unemployed.  Ok, that's my rant, thanks for listening.

So, what's a manager to do?  I want to take a look at what good managing entails.  Here's lesson one, and it's all about ego, your's and theirs.

1. Your ego - check it at the door.  That's right, but be honest, it isn't easy.  Hey, you're in charge, you must be right all the time.  Wrong.  You are supposed to lead, not boss people around.  Staff is going to disagree with you sometimes.  You probably won't like it, and they may even be wrong; but they may be right and you need to know it.  You have to hear them out, weigh their opinion, and then whether or not you use their suggestion, you have to make sure they felt that their opinion mattered and was appreciated.  And you should find a way to appreciate it because at least they're engaged in some way.  If their purpose is self-serving, you, as a leader, have an opportunity to show them how to turn it out and serve others.  Then you've made a difference.
2. Sometimes you'll be uncertain.  That's ok, you're human, and it's good if you can admit it and ask for input.  That makes you approachable and helps you gain influence with the staff.  Then they follow you because they want to, not because they're afraid not to.
3. When ego gets in the way of good decision making ideas are blocked and mistakes and problems occur.  If you can't admit you're wrong, you can't prevent or repair mistakes.  You must be able to admit you're wrong when you are.  You have to accept responsibility.  You have to admit that sometimes a team member may be better at something than you are and be willing to delegate that something to them. You have to lead with your hands open, rather than holding all of the control of everything tightly in your fist.  You have to train your staff so well that you can trust them to do things well.
4. Their ego - work with it.  People want to feel important and valued.  They want praise.  They want to be accepted as they are.  They want respect.  Give, give, give.
5. Praise in public, correct in private.  You've heard it before, be sure you follow it.  An employee will never forget it if you embarrass them in front of their peers.  You could hand them a $100 bill every day and they'd still remember how you made them feel.  Don't do it.
6. Really listen to them when they are talking to you.  If they have a complaint, really hear and understand it and let them know you do.  If they have an idea, bounce it around with them, it may be a really good one.  If you don't have time right then, schedule a time later that same day. 
7. Make sure that they know what they need to know to do their job well. Don't hold back any detail that will help them shine, even if you think that it will help them do it better than you can do it.  Take pride in helping them get there, but give them the credit.
8. Nip bad attitudes in the bud.  Building people up doesn't mean that anything they put out there goes.  Be firm, be fair, but be straight with them.  The attitude needs to go.
9. Don't play favorites.  Yes, there's always an employee that will do more, be easier, smile faster, but if you show a preference, it will end up hurting them.  The other staff will resent them and you may unwittingly teach them to depend on props, rather than on their own innate desire to do a good job.  Don't mess with a good thing.
10. Be understanding of their individual circumstances, but don't make excuses because of that.  Encourage them to see coming to work as an opportunity to leave personal worries at the door for a few hours.  Yes, worries may intrude here and there, but don't dig into it with them or encourage drama.

Are you seeing a pattern.  Managing requires constant attention to what you are going to say and do next.  Everything matters.  That's it for today, but there's more coming.